you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
