Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
