my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
