pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
