i barfeds in our rink
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
