Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
