have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
