Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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