Sry I called you an 8
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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