True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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