We're like a lot better than the average bears
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
