3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
