Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
