Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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