so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
