he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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