She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
