so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
