i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There r osticjed everywhere
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
