this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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