Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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