I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
