i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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