I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
