dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
