I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
