People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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