Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
