her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
