Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
