If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
