So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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