I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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