just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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