He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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