There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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