I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
