I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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