ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
