Christians are straight up FREAKS
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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