i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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