just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
