come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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