This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
