she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize