Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
