Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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