i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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