i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
