Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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