Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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