I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
