There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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