I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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