I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
