so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
either way he was missing a nipple.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
