Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
