Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I still have a little drunk in my system
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
