The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
