her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
