Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
