So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
