Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
