I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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