careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize