I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
