dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
