that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
