I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
only if we run a train.
done.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize