ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
