But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
