Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
