i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize