Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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