Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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