Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
