I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
