Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
