This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is wine microwaveable?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
