i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
