why didn't you poke me back
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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