Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
