i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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